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LeadershipCommentary

raceAhead: Making #MeToo Count, Men Don’t Get Consent, Coco Gets You

Ellen McGirt
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Ellen McGirt
Ellen McGirt
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Ellen McGirt
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Ellen McGirt
Ellen McGirt
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December 4, 2017, 11:07 AM ET
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Over the weekend, more #MeToo stories and allegations began to surface, in many cases ending the reigns of powerful men appearing to operate with impunity in highly specialized circles.

The Metropolitan Opera suspended James Levine, its legendary conductor, for allegations of abuse that go back decades. Charges have surfaced at Morehouse and Spelman, two historic Atlanta-based HBCUs. Fliers appeared on campus, some of them naming athletes and fraternity members. “Morehouse Protects Rapists,” said some of them. “Spelman Protects Rapists.” Public radio icon John Hockenberry, is out as a flurry of stories detailing serial creepery emerged. And while we may be wondering where in the world is Matt Lauer’s wife, his $30 million exit package seems to have all but vanished.

Justice does seem to be having a moment. “I’ve written about a lot of powerful men who women accused of sexual assault and harassment who faced bad publicity but no repercussions,” says Buzzfeed reporter Katie Baker in a recent roundtable discussion. “And I think what’s happening right now is really exciting and overwhelming because it does feel like the consequences are happening — literally the same day, in many cases.”

But the Independent’s Annie Corcoran says that absent real consequences, like criminal charges for Weinstein, the #MeToo tipping point has come and gone. “[D]espite all the talk, nothing seems to be getting done to bring about change and a lot of the perpetrators appear to have escaped any real ramifications for their actions,” she says.

And there is the continued disregard for the plight of low-income workers, and people of color operating at all levels – even men – who still aren’t finding the validation that they desperately need.

If the #MeToo moment is to turn into a movement for lasting change, then it’s worth considering the extraordinary assets that are hiding in plain sight. Almost every professional woman I know has been huddling in earnest, reviewing their own careers, thinking about how an unrepentant system has impacted their success.

Former CEO, author, and award-winning thinker Nilofer Merchant has done the best job to date putting a shape to these conversations, in this recent essay in the Harvard Business Review. She starts by sharing how, despite an outstanding career, her #MeToo moments have been defining.

Reading these many stories, over the last few months, made me reflect on my own exits. After a senior law enforcement official chased me around a hotel room while we both served on a statewide board for community colleges, I left the education field. I went into the tech industry, where I saw firsthand that male executives preferred to promote the ideas and innovations proposed by the female colleagues they happened to be having sex with. (And, moreover, having sex with in the office – I saw that firsthand, too, though I wish I could unsee it). I left that industry, too, becoming an independent consultant and advisor. Then, after hearing too many young women’s stories of venture capitalists who asked for sex in return for funding, I stepped back from participating in the startup ecosystem, the driving economy of Silicon Valley. I had never thought of sexual harassment as affecting my career arc, and yet I can now see how its friction surely influenced it.

Merchant lands on the business case for ending sexually predatory behavior, an argument that will gain steam as more data is collected and presented. But she poses a question that should remain top of mind for everyone, particularly if they want this moment to last beyond the headlines. “Instead of thinking of sexually predatory behavior as a few (or many) bad seeds, we ask, instead… how do we change our organizations to rebalance power?”

While I have called for male allies to step up, and they should, women and other historically preyed-upon groups must remain central to this conversation and take a lead role in the necessary rebalancing efforts.

And I would further argue that the experiences of women – in particular, women over 50 who have likely observed decades of unaddressed exclusion and harassment – should have a vital role to play, not only in helping to explain what has brought us to this tender moment, but in shaping the way forward.

Is a tipping point truly at hand? It is if we say it is.

On Point

A new study of college-aged men shows that they don’t really get consentThe study is small: It focuses on 145 white men, aged 20, attending a large university in the Southeastern U.S. That said, the findings are worth considering. “Situational and Dispositional Determinants of College Men’s Perception of Women’s Sexual Desire and Consent to Sex: A Factorial Vignette Analysis,” found that when considering scenarios involving women with whom they are hoping to have sex with, the men consistently failed to understand whether a woman had consented to advance a sexual interaction or to have sex. Even “when the woman in the scenario vocalized her refusal of a sexual advance, it was not immediately understood that she was not consenting to the advance.” Not a perfect survey, but a good start.Broadly

Pixar’s “Coco” is a master class in authenticity
It’s the little things that mean the most. This is the verdict delivered by the many Mexican and Mexican American moviegoers who watched Pixar’s animated hit, “Coco,” and found subtle nods to food, culture, music, language, and mannerisms that felt like home. “Many Americans of Mexican descent, like myself, were overcome with emotion upon seeing a depiction of a family and household that closely resembles their own,” says reviewer Maira Garcia. She was not alone. The New York Times asked their readers for their own thoughts, who were equally emotional at the memories the film inspired.
The New York Times

LL Cool J Joins Swizz Beatz as an HBS grad
LL, who was known as James Todd Smith back in his hometown of Bay Shore, Long Island, announced his achievement on Instagram. “I Completed the Business of Entertainment media & sports program @harvardhbs it was a life-altering experience. Learning is cool…” Smith also graciously shouted out the program head and his professor, Anita Elberse, as an “absolute gangster,” feedback which will no doubt appear on her gravestone.
Blavity

 

The Woke Leader

Some people of color aren’t having as much fun in grad school as LL is
Ciarra Jones is a Master of Divinity student at Harvard University, a queer black woman seeking to work within a construct Cornel West calls “soulcraft”, or “how one’s internal conceptions come to be.” Instead, she’s been disappointed with what she feels is a lack of willingness to examine the inherent racism that’s part of academia in general and research in particular. “My classmates talk about Black people like we are some amorphous concept that they read about in that one Black studies course they had to take to satisfy their undergraduate degree,” she writes. Case in point: a fellow student gave a presentation that suggested black people only become human when we are educated and begin to earn money. To their credit, the class did address the black students’ anger. It wasn’t productive. “Like sports, allyship is something one must practice over and over and over, you can’t learn it from a book.”
Medium

Yellowface in the arts is part of a long tradition
While we are still failing to process in any meaningful way the news that Marvel’s new editor-in-chief, C.B. Cebulski, used to write for the company under the fictional persona of a Japanese man, writer Jenny Zhang pulls back the curtain on race envy in the white, literary world. She was writing in response to the news that Michael Derrick Hudson had pretended to be Chinese American to get a poem that had been rejected 40 times under his own name into print. But it was also about her experience as one of two participants of color in a prestigious writer's program, and her discomfort as her workshop-mates quizzed her about life, her otherness, her seemingly effortless ability to write authentically about race. They wanted what she had, without paying the price. “White people have always slipped in and out of the experiences of people of color and been praised extravagantly for it,” she writes. And yet, reduced to the sum of her traumas, her model minority status and her “luck” at being a cultural outlier, she demands something more. “Where are my carefree writers of color at? Seriously, where?”
Buzzfeed

A Twitter cartoon for the seeker and lover in all of us
Niv Sekar, describes herself as an “Indian diaspora, living in New York,” a 2D animator and creator of artwork, doodles, and comics. In this delightful Twitter thread, she tells the romantic tale of a woman whose planet, “a small rock of swiftly dwindling resources,” is in mortal danger. In desperation, she begs her way aboard a tiny, passing spaceship hoping to find a larger ship who will agree to take her back to help relocate her family. And so begins a quest filled with searching, longing and intergalactic love, one lovely Twitter frame at a time. Enjoy.
Twitter

Quote

This moment in American life is no doubt painful for many women. It is especially painful for the women who have come forward, at the risk of forever being linked to one event, this man, this president of the United States. (I still can’t believe I just wrote that.) To these women: I will never know the fear you felt or the frustration of being summarily dismissed and called a liar, but I do know a lot about the anguish of being inexorably linked to Donald Trump. You have my respect and admiration. You are culture warriors at the forefront of necessary change.
Billy Bush
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Ellen McGirt
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