After living with her parents for more than two years, Williams and her two children were finally moving into an apartment of their own in her hometown of Reeds Spring, Missouri. They would celebrate with a Thanksgiving meal made by the kids, the grandparents joining them at the table.

The funds for the needed groceries were all lined up — until the federal government shut down on Oct. 1.

Now Washington is running again. But as Americans prepare for the Thanksgiving holiday, the relieved gratitude of families in Williams’ community, and the many others still recovering from the suspension of government paychecks and food assistance during the 43-day shutdown, is tempered by lingering stress and economic insecurity.

“I’m thankful for my children and my job, and I’m thankful for SNAP because it supplies food,” said Williams, 32, who works as a paraprofessional in an elementary school. “But … with the way the world is, with the financial strain, it is hard to be thankful.”

The anxiety stirred by the shutdown persists in the lines at food pantries in this southwestern Missouri county and echoes through households nationwide.

Dealing with the shutdown’s fallout

In South Florida, Darlene Castillo is still struggling to prop up her family’s fragile finances after working without pay for seven weeks at the U.S. Customs Service.

To get by, she lined up at a mobile food bank, a first for her. She held off paying bills and canceled subscriptions. Family members sent money, and when one extended an invitation for Thanksgiving, she and her husband gratefully accepted, knowing that they’d be hard-pressed to host the holiday meal.

“It’s a thankful time,” Castillo said last week. “I’ll bring a dish because hopefully this week we’ll get paid. And then we’ll worry about Jan. 30.”

That’s when the funds just approved by Congress to reopen the government are set to run out, threatening yet another shutdown.

In New Jersey, Kelvin McNeil is equally mindful that restored Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program benefits could again be taken away.

During the shutdown, McNeil said he got by on the modest stipend he receives as a trainee in a culinary program run by the Trenton Area Soup Kitchen. But attending classes meant missing the hours food pantries were open. His wife, who is disabled and counts on him to bring home SNAP-funded groceries, grew distraught.

“If it was any longer, I don’t know what I would’ve done,” said McNeil, whose relief is compounded by news that after months of radiation treatment, his prostate cancer is in remission. “I got a lot to be thankful for right now.”

Community support for stretched resources

In Williams’ Missouri community, a haven for retirees on modest fixed incomes, the lapse in SNAP funds has added to the pressures on families who stretch to buy daily necessities.

In early November, a startling 428 families lined up at a drive-through food pantry run by Carrie Padilla and church volunteers, in a county with about 32,000 residents. About 12% of households in the county rely on SNAP benefits, but it is closer to 17% in rural areas.

Though SNAP has been restored, many families registering for a Christmas toy drive run by Padilla’s nonprofit indicate that they are entering the holiday season without enough food.

“Almost everybody is antsy,” Padilla said. “Just because the government reopened, it doesn’t mean that somebody has waved a wand and suddenly everything’s all hunky-dory.”

That uncertainty has figured into Shirley Mease’s planning, as she prepares to host a free Thanksgiving feast at Reeds Spring High School. Mease and her family anticipate serving and delivering 700 meals, up from about 625 last year, to account for food insecurity worsened by the shutdown.

“I know (SNAP) is back in working order, but it will take time for that to really help people out,” said Mease, 73, a semi-retired school cafeteria worker who has been providing the feast since 2009, drawing on community donations and volunteers.

“Especially in this area, the food banks are being hit very hard, so I just feel like this is a time to step it up a little bit,” she said.

Feeling the pressure without SNAP

The pressure of trying to get through November without SNAP weighed on Williams in the weeks leading up to the holiday.

She had planned the move to the new apartment for months, carefully balancing income and expenses to account for the $600 rent. The math worked thanks in no small part to $450 in monthly benefits her family receives from SNAP. That covers their food bill after the two free meals served each school day.

As the shutdown stretched on, the Trump administration announced it would suspend November SNAP payments, despite judges’ orders to use available emergency funds. With her move days away, Williams started November with just $25 left in her SNAP account.

She used the funds to buy bread, peanut butter, jelly and milk, and a friend with chickens gave her eggs. The fixings lasted through four nights of sandwich dinners. Then her parents stepped in to help.

Williams tried to keep her stress hidden from her 11-year-old son and 8-year-old daughter. But it was hard to avoid tearing up or getting angry.

“What bills do I not pay so I can feed my children, because that’s the priority,” she said.

Faced with a difficult choice

There were other factors to consider, too. Williams said she loves her job, working with students in a special education classroom. In her off-hours she is studying to become a teacher, a pursuit that required taking out a student loan.

The suspension of SNAP confronted her with a difficult choice. She knew she could earn more at Walmart than doing the classroom job she treasures.

“But then I’m giving up a part of my dream,” she said.

It never came to that. Three days after the shutdown ended, Missouri officials sent $217 to Williams’ SNAP account, just under half what she receives in an ordinary month.

That helped refill her family’s refrigerator, but it was not enough to afford the luxury of a Thanksgiving celebration. Williams held off paying a bill for car insurance, due at month’s end, reserving the money in case it was needed for food.

Then, last Friday morning, the remainder of the SNAP funds for November showed up in Williams’ account. Finally, she could exhale. She paid the insurance bill. Then she treated her children to ice cream.

The anxiety that had weighed on Williams for weeks lingered. But it was still November and her family had so much to be thankful for.