I could’ve been twirling my spaghetti at the opening of a new Italian restaurant, sipping on a frozen cocktail at the beachfront, or even immersing myself in the New York Ballet. That is, according to my phone on the Friday evening I decided to ride solo and have a home-cooked meal for one, only to be tempted by the images lining the screen and screaming at me to jump up and run out the door. The thought of what could be always seems better than reality. FOMO, or the fear of missing out, feels like an inevitable experience now than ever before in our hyper-connected world.
FOMO, described as the fundamental fear and “uneasiness” of missing out on a potentially rewarding experience, is a relatively new concept. Still, research has established the correlation between excessive and dependent social media use and an increase in feelings of FOMO. It can impact one’s self-esteem and instill a sense of envy and dissatisfaction with reality. For anyone who’s been lost in their phone, or consumed with thoughts of what else is happening at that moment, it can take us out of the present moment and harm our focus. But new research shows FOMO can lead to “maladaptive” behaviors in college students.
In a study published Wednesday in the open-access journal PLOS ONE, 472 college students completed a questionnaire assessing their levels of FOMO along with their participation in behaviors such as academic dishonesty and drug use, and their weekly alcohol consumption.
As younger adults are still in their developmental years, the research team aimed to understand the impacts of FOMO and college students’ susceptibility to external pressures. The study controlled for sex, living situations, and socioeconomic status and found an association between higher levels of reported FOMO and classroom incivility (the authors use the example of going on Facebook during a lecture) and plagiarism. FOMO also correlated with beginning drinking at a younger age and a higher overall weekly consumption of alcohol. Increased feelings of FOMO was associated with using illegal drugs, stealing, and giving away prescription medication and illegal drugs, along with an increased use of marijuana, stimulants, depressants, and hallucinogens.
“Those who have high levels of FOMO certainly seem to be more likely to do things that may be maladaptive,” Paul McKee, researcher on the study, tells Fortune. “Maybe those that don’t want to miss out on stuff will do kind of what’s needed to be able to not miss out on things, and that includes going to parties and drugs and alcohol.”
The most surprising finding was FOMO’s ability to predict certain illicit behaviors in college students, McKee says. Alongside demographic factors like age, sex and living situation, researchers were able to use FOMO to predict whether a student engaged in academic misconduct with up to 87% accuracy and illegal behaviors with up to 75% accuracy.
Younger adults experienced the COVID-19 shutdown during years meant for socialization in school and were some of the “most vulnerable” to the stagnation of life the pandemic caused, says Dr. Anisha Patel-Dunn, a psychiatrist of college-aged students, and Chief Medical Officer at LifeStance Health, which provides in-person and virtual care. This may have contributed to younger adults doing what it takes to fit in post isolation, exacerbated by the filters of social media.
“One of the kind of difficulties we see is where people are really posting all the positive things in their life, and there’s a skewed perspective from the person that’s reading that may not have that same experience,” she says. “That ‘oh gosh I’m really missing out,’ … ‘I’m not getting this opportunity,’ ‘what did I do wrong?’” These thoughts can lead to unhealthy comparisons and impact people’s mental health.
People who already have depression and exhibit symptoms of low motivation, a loss of their sense of self or those who have anxiety and experience constant worrying or difficulty concentrating can be more prone to FOMO, she says.
For parents of teens and younger adults, it’s important to take the feelings surrounding FOMO seriously and monitor how they can manifest, especially for those who already exhibit symptoms associated with low self-esteem.
Know what FOMO is
It sounds simple, but doing your research and knowing what FOMO is—that it’s more than just a Gen-Z acronym—is the first step. It may be a feeling that can lead to potentially harmful activities people engage in with the goal of fitting in. It’s largely tied to social media and more common for younger adults.
People may also experience FOMO as a form of unwelcomeness or exclusion, and can be triggering for those historically underrepresented or excluded for their gender, race, or sexual orientation, Patel-Dunn says. It’s something to take seriously.
Notice behavioral changes
Even changes in mood and irritability can be signs someone is experiencing FOMO, along with increased social media and phone usage. If someone is staying up late mainly on their phone, it may be something to monitor, as well as an increased obsession with comparisons.
But “avoid the knee-jerk response of banning all social media,” says Dr. Sherry Pagoto, a licensed clinical psychologist and professor and director of the Center for mHealth and Social Media at the University of Connecticut.
“Instead of issuing a ban or a tight restriction on phone time, talk to your child about which social media activities trigger FOMO and which make them feel good,” Pagoto says. “This will help you guide them on how to maximize the rich social experiences they have on social media, while pulling back on the experiences that make them feel bad and helping them understand the difference.”
However, in times of safety, it’s important to intervene.
“If you noticed that you or someone is using [the] phone a lot while driving that might be a reason to kind of talk about it and consider and take a step back,” McKee says, noting that constant social media use stemming from the cycle of FOMO can also pose a risk for young adults who are tempted by notifications even while driving.
Communicate openly
Maintaining dialogue with your children about how they are feeling can help you notice if they are experiencing symptoms associated with FOMO. In some cases, the conversation may get tense if emotions are higher, so it’s important to not retract but instead work to validate their experiences and understand their communication style.
Communicating in a nonjudgmental way, even on a walk, while driving, or casually over the phone to make it more routine, can help, Patel-Dunn says. Bringing up the harm of social comparison, even from a personal experience, may also allow someone to relate.
“It opens up emotional intimacy when you share, and when you share first, it’s modeling for your children,” she says, which can help people feel less alone in their feelings of FOMO.
Talking about what kinds of activities they love doing and how to find time to do them more is another way to re-frame the conversation, Pagoto says.
While the uncomfortable feelings of FOMO may feel like a part of life we have to just accept, they can also induce potentially harmful behaviors. Research is beginning to talk about just that, and McKee hopes this opens the door for further studies into FOMO in the general population.
