• Home
  • Latest
  • Fortune 500
  • Finance
  • Tech
  • Leadership
  • Lifestyle
  • Rankings
  • Multimedia

Exclusive

An hour in the Oval Office with President Trump.

An hour in the Oval Office with President Trump.

An hour in the Oval Office with President Trump.

An hour in the Oval Office with President Trump.

An hour in the Oval Office with President Trump.

An hour in the Oval Office with President Trump.

An hour in the Oval Office with President Trump.

An hour in the Oval Office with President Trump.

An hour in the Oval Office with President Trump.

An hour in the Oval Office with President Trump.

Satire from Fortune

23andMe Offers Pared-Down Test, Tells You If You’re Michael Douglas

By
Ashwin Rodrigues
Ashwin Rodrigues
Down Arrow Button Icon
By
Ashwin Rodrigues
Ashwin Rodrigues
Down Arrow Button Icon
June 7, 2018, 1:04 PM ET
Premiere Of Columbia Pictures' "Flatliners" - Arrivals
LOS ANGELES, CA - SEPTEMBER 27: Actor Michael Douglas attends the premiere of "Flatliners" at The Theatre at Ace Hotel on September 27, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic)Jason LaVeris—FilmMagic

MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. — After the latest security breach at MyHeritage involving 92 million user accounts, genomics company 23andMe is adapting to consumer’s increased demand for privacy-sensitive genetic testing with its latest product.

The maker of at-home DNA testing kits, 23andMe has previously marketed to Americans hoping to trace back their ancestry, or unearth genetic dispositions to certain diseases. Consumers have started to ask questions around the data collected by companies like 23andMe, specifically, who owns it. The Federal Trade Commission has also warned consumers before taking test like 23andMe’s, given the highly sensitive nature of the data being exposed and collected.

The company responded in an unlikely way. For the cost of twelve dollars, 23andMe will now offer a test which will tell you if you are the 73 year-old actor and producer Michael Douglas.

A spokesperson for 23andMe provided the following statement:

“Privacy is our number one priority. Still, we understand some consumers are unable to reach the level of trust required to take our traditional DNA test. We believe we’ve found a solution, which is both cost-effective and informative, for anyone who wants to know if they starred in Wall Street, Traffic, or Ant-Man.”

The spokesperson explained how the pared-down version of the test would work. Consumers would take a digital photo of themselves, and mail it in to 23andMe’s testing center. A team of biologists and celebrity forensic analysts would analyze the photo, and within 20-25 business days, provide an analysis.

“I was not consulted before this product was launched,” said actor and producer Michael Douglas, “but I intend to take the test, just in case.”

For additional security, 23andMe is weighing the cost and benefits of moving the entire test to Snapchat.

 

For more satire from Fortune, click here.

About the Author
By Ashwin Rodrigues
See full bioRight Arrow Button Icon

Latest in

Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025

Most Popular

Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Finance
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam
By Fortune Editors
October 20, 2025
Fortune Secondary Logo
Rankings
  • 100 Best Companies
  • Fortune 500
  • Global 500
  • Fortune 500 Europe
  • Most Powerful Women
  • World's Most Admired Companies
  • See All Rankings
  • Lists Calendar
Sections
  • Finance
  • Fortune Crypto
  • Features
  • Leadership
  • Health
  • Commentary
  • Success
  • Retail
  • Mpw
  • Tech
  • Lifestyle
  • CEO Initiative
  • Asia
  • Politics
  • Conferences
  • Europe
  • Newsletters
  • Personal Finance
  • Environment
  • Magazine
  • Education
Customer Support
  • Frequently Asked Questions
  • Customer Service Portal
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms Of Use
  • Single Issues For Purchase
  • International Print
Commercial Services
  • Advertising
  • Fortune Brand Studio
  • Fortune Analytics
  • Fortune Conferences
  • Business Development
  • Group Subscriptions
About Us
  • About Us
  • Press Center
  • Work At Fortune
  • Terms And Conditions
  • Site Map
  • About Us
  • Press Center
  • Work At Fortune
  • Terms And Conditions
  • Site Map
  • Facebook icon
  • Twitter icon
  • LinkedIn icon
  • Instagram icon
  • Pinterest icon

Latest in

Wallet makers are the quiet backbone of the crypto industry. Now they want to be banks
NewslettersFortune Crypto
Wallet makers are the quiet backbone of the crypto industry. Now they want to be banks
By Jeff John RobertsMay 18, 2026
10 minutes ago
President Donald Trump speaks in front of the American flag to the press as he departs the White House on May 12, 2026 in Washington, DC.
EconomyPolitics
President Trump says the White House’s dealmaking era ends with him: ‘It’s not going to happen again’
By Eleanor PringleMay 18, 2026
36 minutes ago
Carl Fritjofsson smiles in a blue t-shirt
Startups & VentureTerm Sheet
The AI boom is pulling Europe’s hottest startups to the U.S.—whether they planned to move or not
By Lily Mae LazarusMay 18, 2026
44 minutes ago
Trump’s leadership model has a succession problem
C-SuiteNext to Lead
Trump’s leadership model has a succession problem
By Ruth UmohMay 18, 2026
1 hour ago
The top high-yield savings rates: Up to 5.00% on May 18, 2026
Personal FinanceSavings accounts
The top high-yield savings rates: Up to 5.00% on May 18, 2026
By Glen Luke FlanaganMay 18, 2026
1 hour ago
Inside Trump’s vision of America as a shareholder in U.S. companies: ‘I should have asked for more’
NewslettersCEO Daily
Inside Trump’s vision of America as a shareholder in U.S. companies: ‘I should have asked for more’
By Diane BradyMay 18, 2026
2 hours ago

Most Popular

Microsoft AI chief gives it 18 months—for all white-collar work to be automated by AI
AI
Microsoft AI chief gives it 18 months—for all white-collar work to be automated by AI
By Jake AngeloMay 16, 2026
2 days ago
The top foreign holders of U.S. debt may soon dump Treasury bonds and bring their money back home, potentially spiking borrowing costs
Economy
The top foreign holders of U.S. debt may soon dump Treasury bonds and bring their money back home, potentially spiking borrowing costs
By Jason MaMay 17, 2026
18 hours ago
The Bezos family just donated $100 million to help achieve one of Mayor Zohran Mamdani’s top campaign promises
Politics
The Bezos family just donated $100 million to help achieve one of Mayor Zohran Mamdani’s top campaign promises
By Jake AngeloMay 12, 2026
6 days ago
'No one was coming to save me': How Reese Witherspoon built a $900 million company from a problem Hollywood wouldn't fix
Success
'No one was coming to save me': How Reese Witherspoon built a $900 million company from a problem Hollywood wouldn't fix
By Sydney LakeMay 17, 2026
1 day ago
Former top Russian official admits the country is over Putin and can 'imagine a future without him' — even elites bail as Kremlin seizes their assets 
Politics
Former top Russian official admits the country is over Putin and can 'imagine a future without him' — even elites bail as Kremlin seizes their assets 
By Jason MaMay 16, 2026
2 days ago
SpaceX heads into a record-shattering IPO with the 'deepest moat that exists today' as investors vow to 'never bet against Elon'
Innovation
SpaceX heads into a record-shattering IPO with the 'deepest moat that exists today' as investors vow to 'never bet against Elon'
By Jason MaMay 16, 2026
2 days ago

© 2026 Fortune Media IP Limited. All Rights Reserved. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy | CA Notice at Collection and Privacy Notice | Do Not Sell/Share My Personal Information
FORTUNE is a trademark of Fortune Media IP Limited, registered in the U.S. and other countries. FORTUNE may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Offers may be subject to change without notice.