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LawJeffrey Epstein

Alleged Epstein suicide note released: ‘Watcha want me to do — Bust out cryin!!’

By
Michael R. Sisak
Michael R. Sisak
,
Larry Neumeister
Larry Neumeister
, and
The Associated Press
The Associated Press
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By
Michael R. Sisak
Michael R. Sisak
,
Larry Neumeister
Larry Neumeister
, and
The Associated Press
The Associated Press
Down Arrow Button Icon
May 7, 2026, 9:03 AM ET
epstein
This document, released Wednesday, May 6, 2026, by the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of New York, shows a note that Jeffrey Epstein’s former cellmate said he found after Epstein’s reported suicide attempt in July 2019. U.S. District Court for the Southern District of New York via AP

A note Jeffrey Epstein’s former cellmate claimed he found after the millionaire sex offender’s first suspected jail suicide attempt was made public Wednesday, years after being sealed and locked in a courthouse vault as part of an unrelated legal dispute.

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U.S. District Judge Kenneth Karas in White Plains, New York, ordered the release of the note after The New York Times asked him last week to unseal it and other documents in a case involving the former cellmate, Nicholas Tartaglione. Federal prosecutors did not oppose the request.

Few people had known about the note until Tartaglione, a former police officer serving a life sentence for killing four people, mentioned it last year on writer Jessica Reed Kraus’ podcast.

Tartaglione claimed he discovered the note in a book after Epstein was found on the floor of their cell at a Manhattan federal jail on July 23, 2019, with a strip of bedsheet around the financier’s neck. That was about three weeks before Epstein was found dead in his cell in what authorities concluded was a suicide.

“They investigated me for month — found nothing!!!” said the short note, which is hard to decipher in some places. “It is a treat to be able to choose” the “time to say goodbye,” the note continues. “Watcha want me to do — Bust out cryin!!”

“NO FUN,” the note concludes, with those words underlined. “NOT WORTH IT!!”

It is unclear who wrote the note Tartaglione claimed to have found. It wasn’t mentioned in the lengthy government reports examining the circumstances of Epstein’s death, nor did it surface in the Justice Department’s recent release of files on the late financier.

In a written ruling, Karas said he weighed the privacy interests of third parties, including Epstein, before ruling to release the note. He said existing case law suggests that privacy interests of a deceased person, such as Epstein, “are vastly reduced and disclosure of the deceased’s information is unlikely to ‘work a concrete harm.‘”

According to jail records, Epstein had friction marks and skin irritation on his neck from the suspected July 23 attempt. Jail officers said he was breathing heavily but responsive. One officer reported at the time that Epstein said he believed Tartaglione had tried to kill him, according to a memo included in the Justice Department’s files.

Jail officials placed Epstein on suicide watch for 31 hours after the incident before downgrading him to psychiatric observation — his status when he killed himself. According to jail records, he denied trying to harm himself, telling a jail psychologist that suicide was against his Jewish religion and that he was a “coward” who didn’t like pain.

A chronology included in the files states that Tartaglione told his lawyer about the note four days after the suspected July 23 attempt. The note was later submitted as evidence in Tartaglione’s criminal case and was placed under seal amid a dispute over his legal representation.

Both men were interviewed by jail personnel on July 31, 2019, according to jail records.

Epstein said he had never had any issues with Tartaglione, wasn’t threatened by him and didn’t “want to make up something that isn’t there.” Tartaglione said he didn’t have any issues being Epstein’s cellmate, though he said they kept their conversations to a minimum. On July 23, he said, he thought Epstein was having a heart attack because his eyes were open and he appeared to be snoring.

Epstein and Tartaglione shared a cell for about two weeks, beginning soon after Epstein’s July 6, 2019, arrest and ending with the suspected suicide attempt. Both were awaiting trials — Epstein on sex trafficking charges and Tartaglione on charges that in 2016 he killed four men, including a man he tortured and strangled over stolen drug money.

Tartaglione, who had been an officer in the Hudson River Valley village of Briarcliff Manor, was convicted in 2023. He is currently incarcerated at a federal penitentiary in California and has petitioned President Donald Trump for a pardon.

Epstein was without a cellmate when he was found dead at the Metropolitan Correctional Center in Manhattan, on Aug. 10, 2019. Authorities have pointed to a series of missteps by jail personnel — including browsing the internet and sleeping when they should’ve been checking on Epstein — for allowing him to take his own life.

Officials said they found a handwritten note in Epstein’s cell at the time of his death, but that it didn’t appear to be a suicide note. Rather, they said, it appeared to be a list of grievances about conditions at the jail, including about food, showers and the presence of bugs.

___

EDITOR’S NOTE — This story includes discussion of suicide. If you or someone you know needs help, the national suicide and crisis lifeline in the U.S. is available by calling or texting 988. There is also an online chat at 988lifeline.org

The Fortune 500 Innovation Forum will convene Fortune 500 executives, U.S. policy officials, top founders, and thought leaders to help define what’s next for the American economy, Nov. 16-17 in Detroit. Apply here.
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